Large Family Management

Reality Based Structure and Systems (for the win!)

Archives for February 2017

5 Ways to Look Fantastic While Losing Weight Without Breaking the Bank

Look great while you lose weight without spending a fortune.

Have you ever looked at your closet and thought “I’m going to do a major overhaul in here after I’ve lost all my extra weight”?

I have gotten stuck in this trap before. Do you know what the result was? I never got new clothes and I never lost the weight!

I’ve been working on losing weight since last March, and even though I got slightly derailed during the holidays, I’ve been losing at a reasonable rate. I’ve lost a total of forty pounds.

I have not reached my goal yet, but I will get there eventually.

One of the major contributors to my success, I’m convinced, is that I have been fastidious about maintaining a small, workable wardrobe that makes me feel confident and beautiful.

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Batch Cooking to Save Time

How I front load some of my cooking to cut down on the total time it takes to prepare a meal.|Large family|Batch cooking|Bulk Cooking

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Batch cooking or batch prepping in my home has become a necessity. It cuts down on how long it takes for me to get a lunch or a dinner on the table by front-loading my work.

I spend time at the beginning of the month (right after I do my major grocery shopping) cooking and portioning out food. And I also spend some time weekly (generally on weekends) preparing other foods that will help throughout the week.

Getting this batch cooking and prepping done early on makes all of my kitchen work run so much more smoothly, and really helps when something unexpected pops into my schedule. More often than not I can shift gears in the kitchen, rather than turn to more expensive and less healthy convenience foods.

Let me tell you how my system works!

Batch Cooking-Ground Beef

I buy two big packages of ground beef at Costco every month, it comes to around thirteen pounds total.

Within a few days of going to Costco (I try to time this for a weekend day) I will get out my big electric skillet and cook the beef, one package at a time (one whole package fits in my skillet!). I season it with salt and pepper, and let it drain on a pan lined with paper towels.

Once all of the beef has cooled, I portion it out into Ziploc bags and place it in the freezer. I generally end up with about 12 bags of cooked meat.

I will use this meat throughout the month for pasta sauce, taco meat, homemade hamburger helper, and rice dishes.

Cooking the ground beef ahead of time shaves about fifteen minutes off of the total time it takes to cook the meal. The best part is, I don’t have to remember to de-thaw the meat!

I can just toss it into the skillet and it will thaw as it cooks with the sauce of whatever it’s going into.

I am always hit or miss with thawing things in time. Half the time, I will remember and set it out in time, but cooked ground beef thaws out really quickly in a sauce, so it’s no biggie!

Batch Cooking-Chicken

The way I batch cook my chicken isn’t really cooking at all, it’s processing. When I go to Costco, I will buy 3-4 rotisserie chickens (depending on whether I still have any in the freezer) and I will sit down and pull all of the meat off of the bones.

I divide it up into meal sized portions, put it in Ziplocs and put it in the freezer. I can expect to get about 2.5 bags full out of each chicken, so I end up putting 7-10 bags of chicken into the freezer.

The chicken will be used in tacos, enchiladas, casseroles, rice dishes, and sometimes, we’ll just have a big salad night, so I’ll set it out for toppings for that.

It’s cheap, easy, and works perfectly in a pinch!

Batch Cooking-Beans

I cook up two pressure cooker pots full of dried beans each week, one of pinto, one of black beans. Each pot holds six cups of dried beans, so that is a ton of cooked beans at the end of the process!

I store the beans in their cooking liquid in plastic containers, that I buy at the restaurant supply store.

We use these beans throughout the week for lunches, and also in recipes for dinner. I hate buying canned beans because they are too expensive, and opening enough of those little cans to feed my family is exhausting!

I buy the dried beans in 50 lb bags for about $22, so I am saving a lot of money over canned beans.

Batch Cooking-Rice

My kids and husband love cilantro lime rice, so I make up one or two batches a week to go with beans for lunch, or to have with tacos. I store it in the large plastic containers , and the kids just dish it out as needed for their lunches.

Batch Prepping-Fruits and Vegetables

I will batch-prep fruits and vegetables to have on hand and ready to serve along with meals, and for snacks. Fruits and veggies are the only snack foods that I keep in the house, so keeping them prepped and ready is important.

I do this once a week and get my children in on the action. I like to keep peeled sliced cucumbers, carrot sticks, celery, peeled and sectioned oranges ready in the refrigerator.

I try to arrange my week so that I have time for all of the batch cooking and prepping on the weekend. It takes up a few hours of time, but the time savings throughout the week makes it so worth it!

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Our Children’s Chores

All of the different chores assigned in our home, grouped by age.|Large family|Chores

I thought it might be helpful to write out what chores each of my children are currently doing, and how often. A lot of times, we parents underestimate the type of work our children are capable of performing.

If you start your children out at a young age and make chores fun, but also non-negotiable, you will have an easier time of it.

Constantly shoot for excellence, while not being nit-picky. It’s a strange kind of balance. You want your children to master their current level of chores before you move them up to the next level.

If you want your children to get to the point where they are executing their chores at a high level, then “you must inspect what you expect”. I heard that term from another mom years ago, and it has stuck..

It’s so true, though. If you want your children to learn to complete their chores correctly, then you need to take the time to go inspect their work. And you need to make them re-do it as many times as necessary to do it right.

Never get frustrated or angry for work that isn’t quite up to snuff. Just be very matter-of-fact about it. They have to come back and re-do any work that isn’t done properly. Point out where they fell short (nicely), and ask them to fix it.

The first few times, you can expect to have to instruct several times before it’s good enough to be finished. As your child begins to understand exactly what you expect and your standard, he will be able to get it right the first time.

You will still need to inspect the work occasionally, even after your child has gotten it right several times in a row. A once a week spot check should do the trick.

14 yr old—My 14-year-old has just recently graduated from dish duty altogether. He couldn’t be happier! He currently helps set the table for dinner, cleans out and vacuums the van once per week, vacuums the living room twice per week, cleans the showers/tubs twice a month, vacuums the upstairs and the stairs once per week, and wipes down the upper cabinets twice per month.

12 yr old—My 12-year old does the breakfast dishes, helps set the dinner table, vacuums the living room twice per week, sweeps and mops the kitchen, dining room, foyer, and bathrooms once per week.

10 yr old—My 10-year-old does the dinner dishes, vacuums the living room twice per week, cleans all of the toilets daily, and wipes down the bathroom countertops daily.

8 yr old—My 8-year-old unloads the dishwasher in the morning, and does the lunch dishes, she also helps me keep the kitchen swept.

7 yr old—My 7-year-old unloads the dishwasher in the afternoon, and is in charge of wiping off the dining room table after each meal, she also helps keep the kitchen swept.

5 yr old—My 5-year-old sweeps the dining room after each meal, and helps clear off the dishes after each meal. He also keeps the shoes in the sunroom organized, and the room vacuumed once per week.

3 yr old—My 3-year-old empties all of the little trash cans around the house daily (in each bathroom, and in my room).

We all work together to keep the house picked up, and I’ve trained several of the children in how to help me keep the laundry running. I do all of the folding and pre-treating. They all put their own laundry away after it has been folded/sorted.

In the summertime, the three oldest boys work together to get the mowing and edging done. With a riding lawn mower, a push mower, and a weed-whacker, they make pretty quick work of it!

We do pay the children for their chores, but I deduct money for bad attitudes and shoddy work (not during the instruction period, but for obvious laziness). All weekly work must be completed by Saturday at noon to count. For the older children, I do not offer reminders. It’s either done on time for pay, or it isn’t done on time which means I don’t pay, and they still have to complete the chore.

This system has worked really well for us for over a year now. The children are thrilled that they get to make money, I’m thrilled to not have to do the work myself.

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Oxygen Mask Mothering

Step-by-Step ways to take care of yourself when you're in a mothering funk.|Large family|motherhood

Are you in one of those stages of motherhood where everything feels hard and overwhelming? Or do you feel harried, busy, or anxious with no room to breath and relax?

It’s time to put your oxygen mask on, Mama.

There’s no shame in having to step back for a minute, re-evaluate a situation, change what you are doing, and lessen your load. It’s actually a really good thing. This is what I call putting on your oxygen mask.

Putting on your oxygen mask prevents Mom Burnout. No one wants to end up with Mom Burnout, it’s hard to recover, it’s hard to see the joy, it’s hard to do anything.

Being proactive when you are feeling a little piqued or stressed is a much better way to keep calm, and Mom on. I put on my own oxygen mask several times per week, and I’m a better Mom for it.

If what you are experiencing goes beyond simple burnout, it’s time to reach out for help. There’s no shame in getting the help you need. You must take care of yourself.

You Are Not a Maid, You Are a Mom

If you are in the middle of chores again and you stop and look around, what are your children doing? Are they working alongside you, or are they playing or following their own pursuits?

Are you the only one who is ever in the kitchen, doing laundry, or taking out the trash? I’ve got news for you. You’re not the mom anymore, you’re the maid. It’s time to change that mentality, Mama!

Everyone in this house works on housekeeping, including me. I’m not asking the children to do anything that I am not willing to do myself, but I am also not going to be the only one working.

We create our mess as a family, we’ll clean it as a family too!

I am doing my best to raise children who are helpful and proactive, and not just in my own home. I am teaching them to watch for ways to be helpful and serve wherever they go.

If they are sitting down, watching TV and they realize that someone is doing a bunch of chores (kitchen, laundry, cleaning, organizing), I don’t want them to just sit there and continue to entertain themselves.

I want them to get up and volunteer to help.

This is an ongoing effort, it takes reminding and training. But I want every child in my family to have the mentality of “See a job that needs to be done, then do it.”

If you need some help figuring out how to break up and fit in all of the tiny jobs that go into keep your home running, download my FREE cheat sheets!

There is nothing more exasperating and sad than seeing a mother killing herself in the kitchen to serve her family, while the rest of her family lounges in the living room with toys spread out everywhere, trashcan overflowing, and the bathrooms in need of a wipe-down.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by all of the chores you are doing, lighten your load by assigning jobs that need to be done to family members. You don’t personally have to do it all.

Have one of your bigger kids take out the trash. Hand a wet washcloth to a toddler and have him wipe off those lower cabinet doors, have a middle aged child chop those vegetables for you, and teach the toddlers to clean up whenever you play the clean-up song.

It’s Okay to Tell Your Children to be Quiet

If some of your children are past the napping stage of childhood, and you find yourself still needing some downtime in the afternoon, it’s okay and beneficial to have a family quiet time.

Treat this time just as you used to treat nap time. Sacred and non-negotiable. Determine the length of time, time of day, and go for it.

Let the children know what they will be doing, for how long, and what the rules will be.

It’s ok to give yourself this mental break. It’s also a mental break for your children, it’s down time. Everyone needs downtime.

This is a great time for children to play quietly by themselves, read, work on a hobby, etc. Keep the electronics off, and let them know that during quiet time, there is no talking unless there is an emergency.

Spend Time Doing Something that You Love

Spend a little bit of time each and every day doing something that you love, just for you. You don’t have to dedicate an entire hour to your hobby, even 10-15 minutes per day is enough.

If you really enjoy sewing, sit down and work on your project for 15 minutes per day during the week. If you do that every day, by the end of the week you will have logged an hour and forty-five minutes!

While it is nice to be able to sit down and work on hobbies for larger chunks of time, if you don’t have time in your schedule right now, tiny time segments can still be refreshing!

I really enjoy reading for fun right now. I have tried and rejected so many different hobbies, looking for one that really lights me up, sewing, knitting, hand-lettering, coloring, paper crafting, cake decorating, every single one of those hobbies stress me out.

But reading, I’ve always loved reading! So I stick to that for now. It’s what refreshes me.

Learn to Say No

Learn to say no, not just to your children, but to other people as well. I personally have a problem with this. It’s so hard to let someone down.

But do you know what I’ve realized? If I say yes, I’m still letting someone down. Someone has to pay the price.

If a friend or acquaintance asks me to do something, and I say yes, that usually means that I am saying no, either to myself or to my family.

We all have a finite amount of time, so if you are giving that time to someone else, then you have to take it from somewhere.

Sometimes, it’s worth the cost, other times, it is not. You have to be able to distinguish the best times to say yes and the best times to say no.

In the last month, I’ve had to start saying no more because I was saying yes too often. We had to stop hosting our small group at our house, I’ve had to cut back on the number of days that I take the children to martial arts, and we’ve had to cut back the amount of time we are spending in leadership roles at our church.

We said yes too much, and it was starting to take a toll, so we had to start saying no. It’s okay to say no. Especially if you need some breathing room.

If you are feeling frazzled, burned out and apathetic, it’s time to start making some changes! Simplify your life, get back to the basics, take some time for yourself to just breathe.

Get yourself back to the point where you feel human again. You have got to take care of yourself and treat yourself gently before you can be expected to give it your all as a Mom.

You can only give so much before your well will run dry. Put on your oxygen mask first, so that you are then in a better position to be a great Mom to your children.

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Build a Wardrobe that Coordinates

Build an easy, stylish wardrobe that you love and that coordinates with your entire life.

Over the past year, I have been refining my wardrobe and creating my own personal signature style. My wardrobe has become my trademark, it’s as much a part of me now as my eye and hair color.

Everything that is in my closet coordinates with everything else and all of it has been carefully and thoughtfully chosen.

My wardrobe isn’t jam-packed, it’s actually meager compared to many, even compared to my husband’s side of the closet!

I drew a lot of inspiration from Jennifer Scott from the Daily Connoisseur who advocates a 10-Item Wardrobe. The 10-Item Wardrobe focuses on quality, rather than quantity.

Now that I have successfully curated my own signature wardrobe that completely coordinates with my style ideas and my personality, I’m hooked!

Here’s what I own and wear regularly:
2 pair of slacks–1 black, 1 red
3 blouses–1 red, 1 black pattern, 1 black and white pattern
2 patterned t-shirts–both black and white
1 pair of jeans
4 cardigans–1 red, 1 black with white polka dots, 1 white with black polka dots, and 1 mustard
1 fitted dark denim jacket
3 dresses–1 red sheath, 1 navy with white polka dots sheath, 1 emerald green wrap

I have several scarves that I use to accessorize that are either black and white, red, mustard, or leopard print.

I have three pairs of shoes, one pair of brown leather knee-high boots, one pair of leopard print Tieks, and one pair of ruby red patent leather Tieks.

Every single item in my wardrobe coordinates and it is so simple to get up in the morning, get dressed, and know that I look put together!

What’s Your Favorite Color?

If you read through the items in my wardrobe, I bet it isn’t difficult for you to guess my favorite color. You may have already guessed before you even opened this post because I carried the theme through to my blog.

I absolutely adore the color red. It lights me up like nothing else. My nails are painted red 90% of the time, I wear red lipstick 90% of the time. My purse is red, a pair of my shoes are red.

So it makes sense that my wardrobe reflects my passion for the color red. Even the items in my wardrobe that are not red, coordinate well with red. When I wear my emerald green dress, my red lips and red fingernails set it off perfectly.

Leopard print goes well with red, polka dots (navy or black) go well with red. Mustard yellow goes well with red (my winter coat is this color).

So, what’s your favorite color? What color gives you goosebumps? What color do you feel the best in?

I have a friend who looks amazing in a soft shade of pink. It does beautiful things to her skin tone, and it suits her personality so well too. If she were to wear red the way that I wear red, she wouldn’t look like herself.

In the same way, if I were to wear pink in the way that she wears pink, I would look awful, and I probably wouldn’t act like myself either.

So what’s your favorite color? And what are the colors that coordinate well with it?

What’s Your Favorite Pattern?

I have two favorite patterns, and fortunately for me, they both look fantastic with my signature color. Polka dots and leopard print are my two go-to patterns, although black and white paisleys and black and white horizontal stripes make an appearance as well.

My signature patterns have become so much a part of my personality that an acquaintance from church came up to me the other day and told me, “You would love the chair I just bought…it’s polka dots!”.

This person and I are not super close, she has just noticed the frequency with which I wear polka dots. She knew, based on what I wear, that I would love her chair, and she was right! I saw it, and fell in love with it!

Are there patterns that you really love? Paisleys, stripes, polka dots, hearts, houndstooth, leopard print, stars, chevron…I’m sure I am missing some…

Choose one or two signature patterns that will make a frequent appearance in your wardrobe, and choose them in colors that will coordinate well with your signature color.

What Style Type are You?

Think about your style. Do you prefer an athletic look, a classic look, a vintage look, a trendy look, an artsy look, an outdoorsy look, a casual look, a formal look?

My own style is more classic and formal, with a slight vintage vibe. I only own one pair of jeans and I prefer not to wear them. I like to look like I am dressed up and ready to go somewhere.

I’m just as comfortable in a dress as in pants.

What about you? What style or styles are your own? You don’t have to stick to just one, but if you have a mix of different styles, try to figure out ways to combine them in a cohesive way.

So if you like vintage clothes and casual, sporty clothes, then perhaps buy a few pair of jeans and pants that are high-waisted and pair them with cute vintage t-shirts, and cute sneakers.

When you are buying clothing unless it is for a special purpose, and just won’t work any other way, try to buy items that will still coordinate with your style.

For example, I wouldn’t buy a pair of cargo pants. They would just look odd with everything else in my closet, and they would probably look odd on me too. If I were going on a hike, I could wear my jeans and one of my patterned t-shirts that I already own. I believe I own a pair of hiking boots, but only the good Lord knows where they may be…

Pulling It All Together

When all of your clothes and accessories coordinate in color, pattern, and style, you have a ton of different options for outfits.

A lot more possibilities than a gal with three times as many clothing, but with no cohesive theme. Because I can wear the same pair of pants and the same top with four different scarves, four different cardigans or jackets, and three different pairs of shoes, my wardrobe gives me way more mileage.

It makes getting dressed in the morning simple, but fun! It makes me feel like a million bucks to be in clothing that I adore. It also makes shopping so much easier. I can scan an entire store in less than thirty seconds and know if there is anything for me, or not!

Give it a shot and let me know how it goes…

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