Large Family Management

Reality Based Structure and Systems (for the win!)

Archives for January 2017

Four Sneaky Ways to Cultivate a Tidy Home, When You Just Don’t Have Time

How a Mom of 9 keeps her home tidy throughout the day.

I am not a naturally clean and tidy person, I have to work at it constantly. I would much rather sink into my sofa for a breather than do one extra chore or task to stay ahead of the mess.

Even when I have worked to build a new housekeeping habit (28 days in a row), I have to battle against my nature to keep fighting the good fight. And honestly, sometimes I lose.

I really do not have much margin in my day at all with nine kids to keep alive, nurture, feed, clothe, and homeschool. And I do NOT want to set aside a 15-minute time block to get it done. All of my time blocks are spoken for, and I’m just not interested in giving up my beauty time or reading time (my only real down time) in order to…..clean.

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I failed at Serving My Children Enough Fruits and Vegetables! Five Ways I Turned It All Around

My children barely ate any fruits and veggies until this changed. Now, they eat more than the recommended amount every single day!

Fourteen years ago, when I was at the very beginning of my mothering journey, I was under the impression that organic produce was the only produce worth eating, and conventionally grown fruits and vegetables were poison for me, but especially poisonous for my growing baby.

At this time, we barely had two dimes to rub together, so as you can imagine, there was not much extra money at all to purchase organic produce.

I stuck to the fruits and vegetables that I could afford outside of the dirty dozen (mostly bananas, green beans, broccoli, and carrots), and if we are being totally honest, I wasn’t faithful in getting more than a banana at breakfast, and a vegetable at dinner time into my children, or into myself.

I felt like I was feeding my family a much healthier diet than the SAD (Standard American Diet) because I baked bread from freshly ground grain, we only drank Organic Milk, I made our yogurt, homemade chicken stock, we ate coconut oil, and we bought grass-fed beef from a neighboring farmer in bulk. Oh! I also bought only organic strawberry jelly and the fancy peanut butter that tastes like chalk.

I would love to say that I skipped blissfully through those lean years and everything was fantastic as a result of my efforts, but I would be lying. The truth is, we were ALWAYS sick! ALWAYS! It was ridiculous!

I couldn’t figure out why with ALL the effort I put into feeding my family “healthfully”, we weren’t thriving.

This went on and on, year after year, and I finally just accepted that this was life. My family did not have a robust immune system, and that was just the end of it.

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

About seven years ago, I got serious about shedding some baby weight, and as a result, I started making sure to get in at least eight servings of fruits and vegetables every single day. I ate conventionally raised produce because I still couldn’t afford organic. And I didn’t die! By eating so much produce and calorie counting, I was able to shed a good amount of weight.

I also started feeding my family a lot more produce because the children were really interested in eating everything I was eating. So we were finally eating a lot more produce as a family.

I noticed that we all were a little healthier. Instead of getting every single virus that crossed our path, we were able to dodge a few bullets!

To make an already long story slightly shorter, we fell off the fruit and veggie wagon when I got pregnant with our seventh baby. I was also working way too much and otherwise not taking care of myself, and not only was I not making nearly as much food from scratch, but we were relying heavily on convenience food, and fruits and veggies were a very low priority.

We started getting sick again.

It finally occurred to me about four years ago that the reason why we were always sick might have something to do with the fact that we were consuming WAY below the recommended amount of fruits and veggies.

For a woman who took so much pride (too much) in what I fed my family, I was completely missing the boat one of the most important areas of nutrition. The USDA recommendations are between 4 and 6 total cups of fruits and vegetables for older children and adults, and less for younger children, depending on age. For exact recommendations, check here.

We are so much healthier (in terms of how often we get sick) now than we have ever been. This amazing change is going on three years now, so I don’t believe that it’s coincidence! Just in the last two months, several of the families that we attend church with have had stomach viruses, two rounds of strep throat, and colds. In this same time period, my two youngest children have caught one minor cold, and that’s it!

In the interest of full-disclosure, I have had two sinus infections in the same time, but my doctor told me they are from the temperature flipping back and forth between mild and cold constantly. He said if it would just stay cold, I would stop getting them.

When I first realized that we weren’t eating enough fruits and veggies, it was overwhelming trying to figure out how to get the amount of produce that we should be consuming into our diets.

Five steps that I Followed to Add More Fruits and Vegetables

1. Change My Mindset on Organic Vegetables

Before I could fully embrace the change to more fruits and vegetables, I had to change my mindset about conventionally-grown produce. It would be unbelievably cost-prohibitive for me to purchase enough organic produce for a family with eleven family members. That’s insane!

While organic *may* be ideal (from an evidence perspective, the jury is out), it absolutely isn’t ideal to eat barely any produce. The ideal is to eat the recommended servings. If I am trying to feed my family as close to ideal as possible, then I have to let go of the “organic or bust” mindset.

And so I did.

2. All Snacks are Fruits and Vegetables

Prior to breakfast, and in the afternoon, the children know that they may have a snack, but it has to be fruit or veggies. No exceptions. If someone is absolutely dying of starvation, they may have a glass of milk AFTER they have had a fruit or vegetable.

3. Keep Cheap Vegetables Stocked

I keep a lot of the cheapest fruits and vegetables stocked and I *try* to keep them prepped for easy grab-and-go snacks. Right now I have a box of apples and pears in the sunroom. There is a huge bowl of (15) cucumbers that one of my daughters peeled and sliced in one of the refrigerators.

I also keep a big Costco-sized bag of baby carrots in the fridge, as well as washed and cut celery. And there is a bowl of bananas on the counter.

Having the fruit and vegetables handy and ready to eat makes all the difference.

4. Serve At Least One Fruit or Vegetable With Every Meal

With breakfast, I serve a fruit, either some frozen berries, cut up apples, or I’ll do applesauce in the Instant Pot to go with oatmeal, etc.

With lunch, I serve the snack veggies (cucumbers, celery, baby carrots).

And with dinner, we always have salad on the side, and usually at least one more raw vegetable and a cooked one.

5. Eat a Lot of Fruits and Vegetables Myself

If you read the entire post above, you may remember that I mentioned that when I started eating a lot of fruits and vegetables while dieting, my children wanted to start eating them too.

If you’ve been a mother for more than a year, you are most likely aware of the phenomenon where no matter what you are eating, your child wants some too. It can be a food that he previously rejected, but if it’s going into Mom’s mouth, he must have it!

Use this to your advantage, Mom! Let your children see you eating, savoring, and blissing out on fruits and vegetables, and soon enough, the little beggars will be playing right into your hand.

I can’t say it enough. If you aren’t getting enough fruits and vegetables in your diet, it’s time to up your game. Make the increase gradually, but do your very best to get into the guideline range. Give it a few months, I bet you’ll be pleased with how you are feeling!

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Five Reasons Why I Wear MakeUp Every Single Day

Putting on makeup hasn’t always been one of my core daily habits. In fact, four or five years ago, if you stopped by my house without calling, I would look a fright.

So what has changed? Priorities. Realizations. My location. My mindset.

There was never one huge event that triggered my shift, it was done gradually over the course of a year, but here I stand today. And I have on my makeup. Even though I won’t be leaving my house today.

Why I started wearing makeup every day, and how it changed my life.

1. When I Feel Amazing, I Get Amazing Things Done

Four or five years ago, I had six children and I was pushing the constraints of time to the very limits by homeschooling my children and running an online business, putting in at least forty hours a week.

If you have children, you know how exhausting just caring for a family can be. But that wasn’t enough chaos for me, so I started a business as well!

Self-care become the very lowest priority on the totem pole. I was lucky if my face got washed and moisturized, much less powdered.

As I continued to work like a crazy lady, my health started to deteriorate. I was sick for months on end and just couldn’t get well. It finally all came to a head on Christmas day when I had to drive myself to the emergency room.

I was twenty-five weeks pregnant with my seventh baby, had had a chronic upper respiratory infection and sinus infection for months, and I was having trouble taking a decent breath.

I was sitting there in the ER doing a breathing treatment, nervous for my unborn baby, and I realized… Something has got to give.

The change wasn’t immediate. I started small with making sure my hair was neat, then going to the salon and getting a cut and color for a boost.

But slowly, ever so slowly, I started to realize that when I took a small chunk of time in the morning to pamper myself and “put on my face”, I was able to accomplish so much more throughout the day.

Every time I would go into the bathroom, I would look and the mirror and get a small mental boost because I looked put together and ready to tackle my day.

I finally realized that when I have on my makeup and my hair is done, it makes me feel amazing. When I feel amazing, I can accomplish amazing things.

2.  For My Children

When I was first starting to make changes in how I presented myself daily, it started off really small. I made sure I was neat and tidy, but then stopped.

However! I started to notice a trend. Anytime I needed to leave the house, I spent extra time on my appearance. I’d pull out the curling iron, put on the makeup, change out of my yoga pants, and put on earrings.

I started to realize that I was putting in all of this extra effort for people that I either didn’t know or people that I didn’t spend a whole lot of time with. People at the grocery store, people at the post office, people at church, etc.

I spent all day, every day with my children, but they weren’t worth the extra effort? I claimed that they were the most important people in my life, but they got the colorless, style-less version of me?

This point really hit home when I started putting a little bit of makeup on each day, and without fail, my children would ask “Where are we going, Mom?”

They had gotten the signal, loud and clear, that Mom only fixed herself up if we were going somewhere! Oops!

Somehow this just didn’t seem right! If I was going to put in an extra 15-20 minutes to make myself look cute for people I didn’t even know, should I not be spending 15-20 minutes to look cute for my children and husband, my favorite people in the world?

 3. For Myself

I LOVE makeup! I’m a girly-girl, always have been. I love makeup, hair product, nail polish, and LIPSTICK!

It’s fun, relaxing, and most importantly, it feels like something that I do for myself (even though I just said that I put it on for my children and husband too!)

I’ve already discussed how it gives me a mental boost which translates into a productivity boost. But it’s more than just productivity. It contributes to my feeling of well-being.

Makeup makes me feel like I am not being pulled in too many directions, not being stretched too thin. If I am taking the time in the morning to take care of myself, then it feels like I am putting on my oxygen mask first.

You can’t help others if you aren’t helping yourself. And I am helping others all.day.long. With nine children, it’s almost constant.

But if I have my lipstick on, I can conquer the world!

 4. Murphy’s Law

I didn’t have this problem so much when we lived way out in the country, but after we moved, four years ago, it started happening almost without fail.

If I didn’t have on makeup, that’s the day someone would just drop by unexpectedly. This has always felt a bit mortifying.

And honestly, this type of thing still happens today.

A month ago, I was rushing around, trying to take care of some Christmas preparations, and I didn’t take the time to get dressed beyond yoga pants, a high ponytail, and some moisturizer.

And almost as if on cue, a man from church stopped by to drop off papers for my husband.

Honestly, he probably didn’t even notice. He certainly didn’t say anything (smart man!). But I was still a little irritated that the one day I hadn’t taken the time to look presentable was the day that someone stopped by.

 5. Be Presentable Always

I read a book a few years ago called Lessons from Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott.

In this book, Jennifer talks about the style lessons she learned from her host Mom while she was an exchange student in Paris. One of the foundational principles that Jennifer discusses is to “Be Presentable Always”.

This principle has really resonated over the years as I’ve tried to find the balance between looking chic and presentable, to being over-the-top with my daily beauty routine.

Being presentable isn’t the same as being in full makeup with your hair sprayed within an inch of its life with volume that only Dolly Parton could hope to attain. And even though I am a HUGE fan of a good hairspray, I really don’t need or want that look when I am at home.

Being presentable for me means having on light make-up (enough to give me confidence, but not so much that I look like I’m going out for the night, or getting ready to take some Instagram selfies). Being presentable always means having neat hair, and putting on pretty clothes, and even a pair of earrings.

The definition of presentable is different for every woman, and you will have to figure out what that balance is for yourself.

And to be honest, some days, I NEED more makeup, and I pull out my can of hairspray. I need it because I have a HUGE day planned with a to-do list a mile long and I know that if I look fierce, then that to-do list is toast.

So on a crazy day, presentable turns into glam, and it’s a winged eyeliner, double-mascara, red lipstick, hairspray’ed day, and I end up loving every single minute of it and feeling like I conquered the unconquerable!

Putting on makeup every day isn’t for everyone. If makeup has never been your thing, or if it doesn’t give you a boost, then I’m not trying to convince you to take it up.

But if it is something that you enjoy, but you just don’t feel like you have the time for it, then let me just encourage you to make the time.

You won’t even notice by the end of the day that you lost those minutes because I bet that you will have made up for them with the extra pep in your step.

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